An Unseen Kindness
by Hedgi
Summary: Part three of History Repeats. Companion to A Fading Hope. Ken battles with his own demons, trying to in some small way make up for what he did as the Emperor. But a strange force is turning spires into rampaging digimon, and darkness is rising, not only from Ken's past but from another's, and it threatens to destroy any hope he has of being able to forgive himself.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi All! I'm back! And it's only been a bit over a month. Well, more than a bit. Still. A bit about this story: This is a Ken and Wormmon centric companion to A Fading Hope as such it has spoilers of A Fading Hope. I'm also tweaking cannon a touch. In this timeline, Ken introduces his parents to Leafmon/ Wormmon in episode 23, when he remembers them/ who he is/ etc, rather than later in the series. **

**another note: I'll be going back and fixing the timeline in Fading hope, as Ken was missing for "several months" according to episode 23, so my " six weeks" thing doesn't work. Oops!**

**This chapter is set a few days before the first chapter of A Fading Hope.**

**That said, away we go!**

**Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine, I do not own theses characters. **

* * *

Sunshine streamed, catching in dust motes as Ken Ichijouji tightened a screw and stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"It looks great, Ken."Wormmon stared up at the roller coster, letting go of the net he'd been dragging, full of metal pipes.

"_I still can't believe he's strong enough to move all that." _Ken thought.

When the two had first come to the abandoned amusement park, it had been thick with debris and more than one ride had been rusted away. Salvaging parts from his various bases, the former Digimon Emperor and his partner had spent the last several afternoons fixing what they could. the teacup ride was too badly damaged, but the roller coster had just needed a portion of tracks repaired, and some wires fixed, and Wormmon had taken to scouring the rust off of metal like a Duckmon took to water. it had been long, thirsty work, but worth it.

"Thanks, Wormmon. Do you think it'll run? And... do you think anyone will ever ride it?" he eyed the four massive control spires in the area. "Even after we tear them down..."

Wormmon hugged Ken's left shoe.

"Ken, if you fixed it I know it'll run. And as soon as we destroy the spires, this place will be overrun with happy digimon. It'll be wonderful, you'll see."

Ken smiled, but thought, "_No, I won't see. After it's fixed, we'll find some place else to help. Rebuild something else. No one will come if I'm here. And why would they? I've brought nothing but evil to this place." _ His smile faltered, and Wormmon hugged his shoe tighter.

"Let's go destroy some towers, Ken, that'll make you feel better." Ken nodded, picking up one of the un-needed metal poles. Wormmon's attacks alone couldn't bring down one of the tall, dark control spires, but together, though it took time, they could bring the buildings down. It was back breaking work, hammering away at the outer shell of the spire to access a control panel to delete it, but the easier way, using the master computer in his base, was lost to them. The base was still out there, somewhere, but Ken didn't want anything to do with it, couldn't go near the desert, not again.

Ken didn't mind- the ache in his arms, his sweat soaked shirt, meant he was working, really working. _Atoning_ might have been the word for it, but no. Atoners had some chance, some hope of redemption. Forgiveness. Neither were or ever would be Ken' stayed awake, tossing and turning at night, thinking- "_I can't repay what I've done, but if I don't repay anyway, I'll never be able to breathe, never be able to-"_ he didn't know what. But maybe, if he tore down every spire, rebuilt every village or city he had forced his slaves to destroy, maybe if he tried, he'd be able to look at himself and not see a monster. Wormmon already looked at him, not his past, loved him unconditionally, but Ken wasn't sure he'd ever be able to. If no one else could ever forgive what he'd done, and no one ever would, how could he forgive himself? He couldn't, simple as that. He'd just have to keep helping, do all he could to rebuild, and maybe... someday... no.

They came to the edge of forest, and ahead loomed the spire. Wormmon stopped suddenly. "Ken, wait. I have a bad feeling about this."

"_The Digimon Emperor would have sneered and kicked him for that. How could I have been so cruel?" _Ken thought, angry at himself. He crouched beside his partner, his _friend_, and watched. Were digimon in the area? He'd checked his cameras, and had seen a small Snowbotamon village not too far away, but from his records, they rarely came this far East. And the Digidestined were all the way on the other side of the Digital World, or they had been before he'd left... surely they were working still. "_What if they found me?"_ True, the other humans in the Digital World hadn't tried to hurt him, after Wormmon's sacrifice, after he was helpless and alone and pathetic. But he'd hurt them, he'd almost _killed_ them, time and time again. It had been shock that had stayed their hands, or else that they were above his good could come of crossing their paths.

Ken peered around a tree and saw the base of the spire- and a figure. Not one of the Digidestined, she was tall, dressed in red and purple, with long white hair. "She looks familiar." Ken hissed to Wormmon, who shrugged as well as a Silkworm type digimon _could_ shrug. they watched as the woman drew out a hair and thrust it into the spire- she said something that sounded like "Spirit Needle"-

"Is she a digimon?" Ken asked Wormmon, who shrugged again, then watched in wide eyed horror as the spire shimmered and melted away to form a digimon. It was taller than Ken's father, it had to be seven feet tall, vaguely human shaped but its arms were longer, and its face was just eyes, as red as the plume on its helm. It wore armor that looked to be part of its flesh in places. In one hand it held a red and silver sword, in the other a round shield.

"That's a Digimon, Turionmon. They aren't supposed to be real, though, not anymore." Wormmon said quietly. "They all went away, were deleted in a terrible battle and chose not to be reborn, or so the legends say. They were terribly violent, though, especially with their Shield Bash and Steel Strike attacks."

Ken winced, then held up a finger. The white haired woman- digimon?- was speaking, but they were still too far away, and Ken couldn't hear what she said- he caught one word. "Destroy." She pointed deeper into the woods, then vanished. Turionmon began to walk in the direction she'd pointed to.

"Wormmon, the village is over there." Ken got to his feet, fingers wrapped around the metal pole. " We have to stop it- she- it- it's going to destroy the Snowbotamon."

Wormmon looked around. "What should we do, Ken, you're the genius, not me."

Ken snorted at that, but thought quickly. "Get to the village, try to get everyone to hide. See if then know which of the- the Digidestined's digimon is nearby- the older ones, that keep guard posts.. They're strong, and- maybe there are some stronger digimon close by. If we're lucky."

"What about you?" Wormmon looked up at his friend. Ken held up the staff. "I'll distract him. Now go."

"I can't leave you!"

"You can't fight him, Wormmon."

"I'm sorry I'm so use-"

"That's not it at all, I just don't want you to get hurt, I can't lose you again. I'll be fine, now go, hurry!"

Wormmon went as quickly as his legs would take him, and Ken darted from the trees.

"Hey, you! Turionmon! Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" " _Or, closer, anyway." _He held up his pipe, then swung it through the air, but the digimon didn't turn from its course, just continued through the trees.

Ken took off at a run, quickly overtaking the Romanesque digimon and reaching a small clearing in its path. There he braced himself, tried to get his breathing under control, and faced the slowly advancing Turionmon. Again he lifted the metal pole, holding it as he might a sword- not that he'd held a sword, real or fake, in five years. "_Stupid. You should have kept fencing, but noooo, soccer had more glory." "_Hey, I was talking to you! Leave the Snowbotamon alone!"

Turionmon did not respond, but seeing Ken's "sword", stopped and brought up his own. Without a moment's pause, he dove at Ken, who blocked, then struck out- the pole collided with the metal armor of Turion's forearm and reverberated, jarring the boy's hand. Ken almost dropped the pole, but hung on. Turionmon lunged, driving Ken back; Ken managed to block the blow but had to leap backwards to avoid being hurt. He drove his pipe at Turionmon's bare shoulder.

"You don't have to do what she said. How can I free you? Please, let me help you!" Ken yelled as Turionmon growled, "Shield Bash."

The digimon's shield began to glow, then a burst of energy in the shape of the shield flew at Ken, knocking him to the ground. Covered in dirt and leave, Ken struggled to his feet- Turionmon was advancing, murder gleaming in his eyes. Just in time Ken swung his makeshift sword- the two weapons collided with a resounding clatter. He was breathing hard, and with his free hand brushed hair from his eyes. The Digimon wasn't wearing a dark ring- but maybe it didn't have to have one, to be controlled, if it was made from a control spire- but how had that woman made a digimon anyway? "_I would have known if my spires...if the spires could become Digimon. I made them."_

More light flared from around the shield, this time Ken dodged backwards and left, and again the shield glowed.

"No! You can't destroy the village!" Ken stepped forward but Turionmon was ready, swinging his sword in wide arcs, driving the boy back, through the trees, towards the Snowbotamon village.

Closer, closer, until they were only a few yards from the first small hut. No small digimon were in sight, Ken was glad to notice. He just Hoped Wormmon was able to find help. "Just leave! Leave them all alone!" Ken tried again.

Turionmon did not say anything, just continued his attack. Ken tripped backwards, narrowly avoiding the point of the sword, and slammed into a thick tree trunk. Dazed, he dropped his metal pole. He dove for it, but Turionmon was upon him, sword raised. Ken closed his eyes.

"KEN!" That was Wormmon, who threw himself at the larger digimon. " Sticky Web!" Strands of thick webbing covered Turionmon's sword, and as Wormmon fell back, it was wrenched from his hand. Turionmon didn't seem to notice, still focused on Ken. He reached out, metal and flesh fingers closing around Ken's throat as the boy thrashed. "Ken!"

At his waist, his Digivice began to glow. Light, a brilliant golden-white, surged, surrounding the little digimon, who began to grow.

**Wormmon Digivolve to...Stringmon!**

"Spiking Strike!" he cried, and Turionmon released Ken, focusing on the new threat. Light pulsed from his shield, but the insect warrior dodged it, pale purple light poured from his green knuckles in a solid beam, and when it connected with Turionmon, the warrior digimon shone black, then vanished, turned to dust.

Ken stared in shock and something like horror as Stingmon glowed again, then became Wormmon once more, panting slightly. "Ken, are you ok?'

"Thanks to you," Ken coughed, rubbing his neck. " How did you do that?'

Wormmon shook his head. "I don't know. You were in trouble, I had to do something, and suddenly, I could."

Ken nodded, hugging his digimon.

Before he could say what he was thinking, Wormmon spoke softly. "He.. Turionmon. You're worried, that I...killed him."

Ken nodded. "I know you had too, but..."

Wormmon snuggled into his partner's chest. "I don't think he was a real digimon- you saw, he was one of the spires. But- Ken- if he wants to come back, he can. We all can. The worst digimon's data is purified, so evil can't return if they're deleted fully, but digimon like him, or..."

"You."

"Or me, we can come back, if we want to."

"Why didn't you go ...on? To- do digimon have heaven?" Ken asked, finally getting his breath back.

Wormmon shrugged. "I couldn't leave you. You're my best friend."

Ken hugged the little digimon. "Thank you. Thank you for saving me, and for coming back."

A small digimon behind them cheeped, "Oh, Thank you, thank you, you saved us, you saved our lives!"

Ken turned, and the group of Snowbotamon shrank back, seeing his face. Whispers ran among them- "It's him!" "Hide the children!" "We're all children!" "Run away!" Ken looked down, filled with shame. Holding Wormmon, he took off back through the trees at a run. It wasn't until he reached one of the small TVs. Unclipping his digivice from his belt, he opened a portal and landed with a thump on his bedroom floor.

"Ken, is that you?" came his mother's voice.

"Yeah!"

"I'm glad you're back, I have a new recipe for crab croquets I want you and Wormmon to try."

Ken looked at Wormmon and managed a small smile. It still hurt his heart, the mistrust and hatred- the fear in the snowbotamon's eyes. He understood it- he didn't blame them, but still.

He was glad, at least, that his mother and father were ok with him leaving every afternoon for the Digital world. he hadn't told them about what he'd done, he didn't think he could take their disappointment in him. He knew, from conversations spied upon, that most of the digidestined's parents were either in the dark or less than happy with their children's involvement in the other world, with 'monsters.' "_At least Mom and Wormmon get along."_

He had been worried, introducing Leafmon to his parents, but his mother had been so happy that he had a friend that she had taken to the digimon ( and his willingness to try any recipe she tried) instantly.

"Ken?" Wormmon said softly, moving towards the door. "It'll get better. They won't always... you know."

"_Yes, they will. They should." _Ken thought, but said nothing.

Dinner was quiet and as usual, delicious. Ken's mother had even set a place for Wormmon beside Ken, though the digimon had to sit on the table itself to reach his plate.

* * *

"Ken?" Wormmon said softly from the pillow. "Will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Someday, let's go back to the amusement park, and ride the ferris wheel, or the roller coaster, or something. You deserve-"

"No, I don't. You saw the Snowbotamon. They were terrified of me. I can't go near there. We'll find some other empty place to rebuild. Move on, rebuild, destroy my stupid spires. And anyway, I don't _deserve_-"

"Ken, don't. You are the kindest, most gentle-"

Ken laughed.

"I'm serious. You don't see it, but- someday. When you've done enough. Will you go back?"

"I can never do enough."

"Ken, please."

Ken turned in bed to face his digimon. "Maybe. No promises, but maybe."

"Good enough for me. G'night, Ken."

"Goodnight, Wormmon."

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**Hope you liked! Leave a review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hi, all. Sorry about the wait. I can't promise it'll be shorter, though I'll try. AND I don't think this story will have major cliffhangers. so there's that, at least.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Ah, no. I don't technically own digimon. Or un-technically. I just don't.**

Chapter two:

Ken scrolled through the list of video clips on his screen. It seemed that the program he'd set up, to list and compile the video of every disappearance of a control spire, worked. He was glad, he'd only started working on it the night before, but he wanted to be able to tell when and where a spire vanished, in case it was that- woman? Was she a woman, or a digimon, or something more? In any case, it seemed the video feeds had done an even better job than he'd hoped, recording the previous day's data as well as today's, before it could delete itself.

"I'm glad I set the camera's to keep everything for a day before deleting, but I wish I'd had it keep more, Wormmon. What if that Turionmon wasn't the first?"

Wormmon nibbled at the dessert on a plate before him. "We'll never know, I guess. But surely we'd have seen if there were digimon on rampage."

Ken shook his head ruefully. "I can't see everything, and tear down spires, and do my homework." Ken had found that it was harder to do his math assignments, though he still understood the questions. Maybe it was the stress.

Wormmon looked at the silently playing video, of the battle with Turionmmon and smiled. "_Ken may still think he's bad, but he's not. He saved those little digimon, when so many Digimon would have run," _he thought. Aloud, he said, "Ken, try this, it's good! What did your mom call it again?"

"Panna Cotta. It means 'cooked cream'- it's Italian."

"It's really very good. C'mon, try some!"

"In a minute." Ken's eyes were fixed on the screen. A group of tiny digimon - Koromon mostly, took out a spire in section 54. In section 32, he watched the same Agumon he'd once captured fire pepper breaths until s spire crumbled. Ken's heart clenched. He'd caused so my pain, and for what?

Wormmon seemed to sense Ken's thoughts. "You _didn't know._" the green digimon whispered, leaping up onto the boy's lap.

"I should have, though. I should have." Ken said bitterly, ducking his head.

It was an old conversation, and Wormmon sighed, leaning against his partner, pushing his head into the crook of his arm. If he'd been a cat, he might have purred.

Only a few videos remained, all from that afternoon. Two of Ken and Stingmon in the western desert and by the shores of a lake. The thumbnails of those that remained showed children.

"It's them," Ken murmured. "The Digidestined. Not her, not that woman." He moved to close the window- somehow it seemed wrong to spy on them, as he had done for so long. But at the same time, he wanted to see them destroy what he'd thought of as his life's goal.

The first clip played, a familiar forest, the very one near the amusement park. He checked the other clips- all of spires he'd not destroyed near the amusement park. Ken allowed himself a smile. Once those spires were gone, Digimon would find the park, and use it, enjoy it; particularly if the Digidestined did. Davis led a silent charge across open ground to the park, and looked to be arguing with the older girl, Yolei. Ken forced himself to use their names in his mind, reminders that they were not interlopers who had interfered with a game, but people. People he'd almost killed. The thought was painful. "_They belong in the Digital world. They're Digidestined. Not me, though. No matter what he said. Hang on. That's odd." _He thought, then spoke out loud. "Why did the cameras save this? There's no more dark energy, no spires or rings, so why keep recording?"

_I shouldn't be spying on them... but whatever the reason the feeds kept going, it must be important._

The clip jumped, the time stamp showing that a few minutes had passed. A stream of something dark came from the top of the screen. Ken was breathless, squeezing his hands- this was it- those things, but what had- Wormmon gave a squeak as the camera focused on the black, airborne stream. they were metal gears, matte and dark. Ken gripped the edge of the desk. "_No._" He knew those things, used some of their data to make the rings, the slave collars. But how? Shouldn't they be dormant? Shouldn't they be gone? He'd seen the lot of them destroyed by the older Digidestined, hadn't he?

The gears slammed into the ferris wheel, sending it crashing. Ken and wormmon watched, Horrified, glad that there was no sound. From the smoke came light as digimon Digivolved and carried the children to relative safety.

He watched as they ran into the trees, the cameras losing focus.

"Someone has to be controlling those gears." If it wasn't him, and it wasn't, that left- "That woman! It must be her, If only I'd stopped her!"

Ken could not look away. Another camera had picked up where the amusement park ones had left off. It followed the blond boy- "_T.K."_ his mind corrected, running through the woods as quickly as he could. gears followed him- were they _chasing him?_ the little digimon- Patamon?- shot bursts of air, deflecting the black, toothy disks. Digivices glowed, turning the gears into dust.

Suddenly, the Gears swerved. T.K. looked behind him, saw his brother, his mouth opened in a mute scream as the gears slammed into the older boy. He fell unmoving into the grass, and the feed ended.

Ken thought he might throw up.

"What do we do?" Asked Wormmon. "is there anything we even can?"

"I..I dunno. Get to the bottom of who did this. Where the gears came from. That woman's identity." Ken began to type. "I'll set the program to search for them both."

It was only an hour or two old. Surely there would be news, if- if-. Ken knew that Matt, that was his name, Matt Ishida- was some kind of rock musician, with a local fan base. If anyone knew what had happened to him- if he was dead, or how badly hurt, fanboards on the internet would. Ken hoped he would find nothing.

It was all over the websites. that week's concert was canceled. the lead singer was- Ken breathed a sigh of relief, "_Not dead"- _in a hospital, in a coma.

_"_Well?" Asked Wormmon.

"He's alive. Hurt, though. We've got to find a way to reverse the effects of those gears."

Wormmon took another bite of the white, jello like desert, and nodded. "Where do we start?"

"I have no idea." Ken frowned. He opened his desk, rummaging for a flashdrive, and his fingers caught on a thing cord. He drew out the necklace, the one that belonged to his former hostage, the one he'd tried to discover the secrets of, without success.

"I really ought to return it," he said. "But I can't see her- or any of them- ever wanting to see my face again, especially not where they live. They'll think I'm plotting something."

"Do you really think so? You've changed."

"They won't believe that." Ken snapped. " and, anyway, why should they? I was- a monster. Am."

"No. You were lost, confused."

"I can't lie to myself, Wormmon. I as good as killed them, over and over and over." Ken shook his head. "I'll think of a way to get it back to her. Somehow." He found the flashdrive he's almost destroyed, the one with his notes on the gears he'd used to make the dark rings.

"Time to get to work."

* * *

**There! I'll try to get something posted next week, probably a one shot song fic about some of the parents, or else a chapter of the Izzy threeshot. I'll see if I can have the next chapter of this up in two weeks, but I have five picture books to get written by May 21( yay for my Advanced Creative Writing class) so yeah. I'll try.**

**As always, reviews are well loved- particularly if you have ideas for chapter titles.**

**Hedgi**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Sorry this is so late in coming ( oh man, that IS SO LATE AHHH I feel terrible about that.) I've been busy with: group projects, writing for my Creative writing class, midterms, the scottish games, and a trip to a publishing company (! They are looking at my manuscript!) But here is the next chapter. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters, or settings of this fic belong to me. The situation, on the other hand, does. ( although if you at any point want to use events from my stories as backstory in your fic, go for it.)**

* * *

Chapter three

Ken's hands burned, and he set down the metal pipe he was carrying, looking at his hands. Blisters were starting to form along his palm at the base of his fingers. Stingmon laid down his own burden.

"Are you alright, Ken?" The large digimon asked, compound eyes full of worry. Ken nodded.

"Just blisters," he said, looking around at the wreckage of the amusement park they'd spent so long restoring. The Ferris Wheel was a total loss- for now. Ken would have to look up blueprints later. At least the two could clear pipes and benches from the pathways, and organize them. The Roller Coster had survived, but the empty snack shack had been reduced to splintered planks, and many trees had been savaged. The boy sighed, and bent to lift the green painted pipe again.

"Maybe we should call it a day?" Stingmon suggested, putting a clawed hand on his partner's shoulder. Ken shook him off, though lightly.

"No, I'm fine. Unless you need to stop? Just say so, really." Ken was always worried about asking to much of his digimon- his friend.

Stingmon shook his head. "I'm fine, Ken, but- I keep thinking, about that woman. Maybe we should go see if she's up to something more. The attack yesterday- it must have been her. And this-" a hand took in the park- "Is an awfully big job for just two. Maybe we should-"

"NO." Ken snapped, shaking his head so quickly his dark hair fanned outward.

Stingmon glowed briefly, then reverted to his smaller form.

Ken winced, and paled. "No, I mean, I'm sorry, Wormmon. I shouldn't have shouted. It's just- I can't. I can't. They hate me, and I can't face them. You know I can't. So please, just... don't." He knelt down to hug Wormmon, and the digimon nuzzled his shirt.

"I know. But you will, someday. I know you, Ken. We'll get past this."

"Not likely."

Wormmon cuddled closer, then drew away. "Maybe we should go back. Check the cameras, the feeds. See if Ishida's doing any better. See what your mom's making for dinner..."

Ken smiled at the last item on Wormmon's to-do list, and nodded. "Sounds like a plan," he said, getting up.

* * *

Light flashed as Ken and Wormmon landed neatly on the rug before the desktop computer in Ken's room.

"Ken, Sweetheart, is that you?" his mother called through the half open door.

"Yes Mom, we're back," Ken answered.

"Oh good, I was starting to get worried."

Ken frowned. He hated to worry his parents, after all he'd put them through. the door creaked open a bit more and his mother peeked in.

"How was your day?"

Ken shrugged, "Ok. Science was fun, and we got our Math tests back."

"I'm glad you had a good day. Is there anything you want for a snack? Your father has to work a bit late tonight, so dinner's going to be on the late side.

Ken shook his head, but Wormmon accepted an offer of cookies. He munched them happily as Ken searched the internet. Nothing new on the fan boards for Ishida's band, but no news was good news, right? The video logs yielded up very little. No strange woman. No spires turning into digimon. He switched to live feeds, scanning rapidly, flicking through cameras until-

A girl stood in a clearing, greeting her digimon, a blue and pink bird type. Biyomon.

He recognized the girl- she was one of the older Digidestined, a tennis player._ "What was her name? Sky?" _Unlike Ishida- _Matt_- he had only seen her once or twice all together, if that. But this was odd- she was alone, and it was getting dark.

"What's going on?" he asked softly. Wormmon didn't hear.

The video switched to a new area, this one empty desert. Another: the Snowbotamon village. Another: a black obelisk, a Control Spire, being felled by a group of various tiny digimon. A cave, and a boy with a shock of bright red hair. Ken knew his name, if only from the science competition two years back. He always remembered those boys and girls. Izumi, Izzy Izumi. He lived across the bay, and was another of the older Digidestined- there seemed to be a lot of them-.

Izumi and the tennis girl, in the Digital world together but separate, setting up camps. "Something's up," Ken said, more loudly than he'd have liked. Wormmon started, then climbed to sit in Ken's lap for a better view of the screen. Ken sat back. This was not normal, even for as strange a group as the Digidestined.

He knew they came to the Digital world at odd hours( particularly the girl with pink hair that seemed to live out of the country), that they came late at times, like when they'd half blown up his base one night. But never alone, even the pink haired girl brought a blond boy Ken was sure he didn't know. And they usually had a goal, even if it was just visiting. But these two looked as if they were- watching. But for what?

Panic shot through him for a moment- what if they were watching for _him_, thought he was up to something, though _he _was behind what had happened. He had done worse. Ken wouldn't blame them for suspecting.

Then he almost laughed. No. They knew who he was and where he lived, that he was home. If they thought he was still- evil- they would have confronted him. Wouldn't they? They didn't even know if he still went into the Digital world, he'd been careful to hide his presence- unless they'd hacked into his cameras. But- no. No.

They had to know about the woman, then. But waiting for her- didn't they know what she could do? That she could create Digimon that couldn't be reasoned with or talked to or saved from a ring, because they were _wrong_. Yes, he'd been able to fight Turionmon,but it had been a near thing, he'd almost been killed.

Thoughts whirling in his head, Ken asked, "Wormmon?"

The green worm digimon shifted and looked up at Ken. "Yes?"

"We- we should go back."

"Why?" Wormmon asked, not rudely, more curious.

" I don't know- I just think we should, you know? Be there to keep watch. Just in case. they- they might need help. They might not know, what they're up against. that woman might try something.

Wormmon nodded quickly. "I agree, but-"

"I'll take my stuff," Ken assured him. "I mean, I can do my homework and keep an eye on my laptop for sings of her, it's not that hard. And- They don't have to know. That we're there." Ken bit his lip. "We'll stay far enough away that they won't know, unless something happens. I- we- can help, if they need help, and then leave."

Wormmon's eyes crinkled in a smile. "I'm in."he hopped to the floor, and Ken got to his feet, pins and needles in his legs and toes. They shuffled to the door.

"Mom?" Ken called down the hallway.

"Coming!" she answered, her slippers making shushing noises on the hall floor. She reached him, smiling and a little out of breath. "Yes? Did you need something?" She noticed his face. "Is everything alright, Ken?"

"Yes, but...I..." He started, then stopped. _"How do I tell her I have to go, when I just got back?" _ He wondered.

She looked over his shoulder at the screen, at his Digivice in his hand, and nodded.

"You have to go back there, don't you?" she asked softly. She smiled, tearing up a little, the way she always did when her son left to go back to that other world. What if he got hurt? What if he got stuck? " I won't say I understand, because I don't, really, as much as you've told me, but if you need to go- you'll be careful? and Wormmon, you'll be with him?"

Ken nodded and scooped up his digimon. Wormmon blinked, then spoke in his old, formal manner. "I will be there. I'll protect Ken with my life."

Ken felt his heart clench- "_No, I can't lose you again!"_

Ken's mother bowed her head. take care of yourself, too, Wormmon. You're also a part of this family, you know that." Then she threw herself at her son, hugging him fiercely, then straightened.

"You'll need supplies if you want to stay the night. there's a sleeping bag in the closet, your father's, from when he took you and- and Sam camping. Oh! Dinner! I'll be right back."

Ken gathered the sleeping bag and sleeping pad and bundled them, then packed fresh uniform, along with his school books so he could go right to school the next morning. a small first aid kit and some other camping supplies- matches, flashlight, water bottle- joined them.

His mother returned a minute later with an armful of plastic containers.

"There's rice and some honey- walnut shrimp for dinner, and some cookies for dessert, your favorite kind, Wormmon, and breakfast. There are some pancakes you can reheat, right? And some cinnamon bread, and some fruit. And your vitamins, you need those!"

Ken had to smile. he took the containers and packed them in his bulging bag, his eyes stinging. Again, he fell into her arms and she held him.

At last she wiped her eyes and his, and smiled. "If you need anything, come back and wake your father and me, understand?"

Ken nodded again.

"Alright then. Be careful, both of you. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

Ken turned, gathered up his things and with Wormmon, entered the gleaming light of the portal to the Digital world.

His mother did not look away until the light had faded entirely.

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**Again, sorry this was late, and short... this was a filler chapter really, action will be coming in the next chapter. I've got 1 month left of school, and lots of work, but I'll do my best to get this up in the next month.**

**Thanks for sticking with me, guys!**

**HNA**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Hi! Oh man, I only have 2 and 1/2 weeks of school left, and then I'm free. I'm very, very ready to be done. Just two more papers, 2 more tests, 2 more quizzes and a few worksheets. Then I'm going to Disneyland for the first time- my friends are roadtripping home. I don't know if I'll get much writing done between now and the first week of August- but I'll try.**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. If you don't recognize it... I probably still don't own it. Ah well.**

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Chapter four.

Ken stared at the little campfire, Wormmon asleep by his side. He'd gotten the classwork done, set up a program to warn him of spires, those gears, or anything in the nature of 'bad', including and not limited to: explosions, fires, floods, earthquakes, general destruction, or spontaneous combustion. Ken was nothing if not prepared.

Still, it was only a little past eleven when he and Wormmon finished everything, including the copious amount of food his mother had packed. Wormmon had drifted off almost instantly, but Ken, like on so many other nights, could not sleep.

He watched a stick blacken and char, then crumble into ash as the fire blazed. The digital world was very dark, even the stars seemed dimmer than usual- not that he spent much time looking at the stars when he'd spent the night before; then he'd been the Emperor, and fixated on destroying, controlling, winning, not the beauty.

"It is beautiful," he said softly, to himself more than the sleeping digimon next to him. "How could I-? How didn't I see it? Understand any of it? I was supposed to be _smart_, like Sam, but it was right in front of me and I didn't see it." Hot tears pricked at his eyes- _Just the smoke._

The campfire smoke _was_ a little thick, the slight breeze wafting it into his face, but Ken didn't move to douse the fire. It was so bright against the darkness, so warm in the cool fall air.

Wormmon stirred, and Ken laid a hand on his best friend's back. If Wormmon could purr, Ken thought he might have. It was nice, to be calm, not be working, sweating. The digital world was so- peaceful.

_You nearly destroyed that peace. Why should you be allowed to relax? You hurt so many, forced them to build your monuments and bases, the very spires that would control others- how dare you?_

The voice in his head was his own, and as much as Ken wanted to dismiss it, he couldn't. Maybe once his mind had been wrong- so wrong about everything- but not anymore. It spoke truth, a truth he could never escape, never be rid of. As much as he worked, as many good deeds he did- _It will never make up for what I've done. It'll always be there, you can't erase history, can't wash away the past. Why try?_

_That_ Ken fought. Yes, he could never fix what he'd done, never forgive himself, never be forgiven- but neither could he live with not doing as much good as he could. _That's why you're here now, to help protect the digital world. Stop thinking about it,_ he ordered himself, checking the computer. No sign of danger. He opened the analysis he'd started of the black Gears- maybe there was some data there that would help.

Long minutes passed before Ken fell fast asleep, curled around his laptop. His dreams were a tumbling, churning mess of the faces of his family and his one time slaves, dark rings and spirals and gears infecting humans and digimon- someone screaming for help-

The shrill _chee_ of his computer woke him long before dawn, the sky was still dark and the world silent. The fire had burned down, and the only light came from the flashing computer screen. Danger, lots of danger- a village under attack. Already the screen showed the Digidestined- both Izumi and Tennis Girl- on their digimon, fighting a large flying digimon- a Unimon, Ken remembered.

"Trouble?" Wormmon asked softly. " Should I digivolve?"

Ken nodded, holding up his digivice. "Let's go."

**Wormmon Digivolve to...Stingmon!**

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They stayed low, flying to the village, and arrived in time to see the two teenagers part ways, Izumi with the now calmer Unimon, and Tennis Girl with a group of tiny pink digimon in the other. Not sure what to do, Stingmon looked back over at Ken.

"What now?" the digimon asked. "It looks like they've sorted everything out."

But the hair on the back of Ken's neck was standing up and unease twisted in his gut. "No...I don't think it's over. Something big is happening, I know it. We'll follow her, she's got all the little ones to protect- if something happens..."

"Good idea, Ken," Stingmon nodded, and they set off just skimming the trees.

The digimon seemed to have been settled and Ken was wondering if he'd imagined the ill feeling, when out of nowhere came dozens of the black gears, just visible in the darkness.

_No!_ Ken thought as he saw the Gears chase after the girl- she turned to face them, her skin pale. Ken held up his digivice and willed it to help her, to do something, anything, to attract the gears to himself, she could never fight off so many. He opened his mouth to call to them, as if that might help when his digivice flared to life. A powerful beam of golden-white light shot through the sky and Stingmon dropped lower into the trees. When the light was gone, so were the gears.

Ken breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was close." He hissed to Stingmon.

His partner nodded, "If we hadn't come, she might have ended up like Matt"

"Let's keep going... in case something else happens?" Ken half asked. He was very tired, but something prickled inside of him, alertness surging.

The followed slowly and half in the trees, but soon came to the edge of a clearing. Stingmon, still unused to digivolving, glowed brightly and briefly before returning to his smaller form. Ken scooped Wormmon up.

Tennis girl had dismounted from her digimon- a huge bird that shrunk down to a much smaller bird. She was walking to the entryway of some ruins when -

"What on earth?" Ken hissed. "Wormmon, can you-?"

The digimon shook his head as they watched in terror from the trees as darkness itself encased the ruins.

The girl screamed, "Izzy, Izzy, Run!"

Ken felt rooted to the spot- what could he do?

A huge shadow of a digimon burst from the ruins- a section of walls collapsed, and Ken saw the girl fall, pinned by a stone pillar- she wasn't moving.

The shadow turned to her but Ken pulled out his digivoce

Again it glowed so brightly it hurt his eyes, then went out.

The shadow was gone, It was over in an instant.

"Ken, what do we do?" Wormmon leaped down and hurried into the clearing, Ken racing after him.

"Check the ruins for him-for Izumi- Izzy." Ken barked, kneeling at the girl's side. Her eyes were closed, and in the dim light, the ambient light of stars and sky- he saw the pillar clearly. It trapped her legs. Ken seized one end of it and lifted. Nothing.

"Wormmon, I need you!"

Wormmon scuttled out, and when he was close enough that Ken could see, he shook his head. "He's not there. That thing must have grabbed him"

"I know you're tired but we need Stingmon." Ken said. "Look, the ground- she's bleeding bad, if we don't get this thing off her- he didn't want to say it.

The digivice glowed for a fourth time that evening, and Wormmon with it- Stingmon and Ken lifted the pillar with greater easy than they would have thought, before Stingmon reverted again. "I can't hold it," he said sadly,"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Ken said. He rummaged in his backpack- there, in the first aid kit his mother had made him bring- gauze bandages.

Ken was glad for the training he'd had with leg injuries, mostly through soccer, as he rolled up the girl's loose pajama pant leg to reveal an ugly gash. Carefully he wound the bandages around her leg, then stepped back. Her head was not bleeding, but what if she had a concussion? What if that thing came back?

He noticed her laptop, spilled on the ground beside her and scooped it up. Her friends, he could contact her friends!

She had not signed out of an email client that only had a few names in the contacts, names he recognized- Kari, Tai, Matt, Davis- they must be the Digidestined.

Quickly he composed an email and fired it off into cyber space, then sat down to wait.

_Sent: 5:15._

_Everyone,_

_Sector 5._

_Help. Hurry. Hurt._

* * *

It seemed like forever before he heard voices, and vanished into the trees with Wormmon.

He could not face the Digidestined, not now.

Not ever.

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**Hope you liked it!**

**Review?**


	5. An Unseen Kindness

**A/N: Oh dear. I'm sorry it's been so long. Really. I don't have any excuse. I'm lazy. I've been back from my roadtrip for a whole month and didn't do any writing until I started this. Shame on you, Hedgi, shame. Shaaaaaaame. Also oh my gosh emotionally draining chapter ahoy. Poor Ken.**

**Please enjoy!**

**ALSO if you have title Ideas for previous chapters tell me. Because this one has a title.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. Anything I do own, like naming Ken's mom Aina, you all can have. Go for it.**

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_Chapter 5 :An Unseen Kindess_

A bell chimed as Ken entered _Toshiko's Garden,_ a pretty little flower shop below an apartment complex, not too far from the hospital. He hesitated, wondering if it would be appropriate to bring flowers at all, but remembered his apartment had been bursting with them after Sam had...and anyway, hospitals were cold and white and plain. Color couldn't be a bad thing.

He wished he could ask Wormmon, not that Wormmon was an expert at these sort of things (though he spent most of the day watching soaps with Ken's mother, amusingly enough), but the digimon had been worn out by the previous night's adventure. _Besides, people would ask questions. I can't exactly pass him off as a stuffed toy._

_"_May I help you?" asked a woman. The name badge pinned to her white apron declared that she was the owner, Toshiko. She was tall, with darker hair, and eyes that reminded Ken of a bird's bright and dark.

"Yes," he said making up his mind. "I need flowers."

She nodded, seriously, but her smile was warm. "Well, you're in the right place. Any particular kind of flowers?"

Ken shrugged. He'd never bought flowers before.

"For a girl?" Toshiko asked kindly.

He shook his head. "No! No. Um…I'm visiting a, a…" He could not say 'friend', could not speak that lie of all lies. "Someone I know. In the hospital."

The woman softened visably. "I see. Is there a particular sentiment you want to express?" It sounded like a question she'd memorized. Ken was thoroughly confused.

"What?" he asked.

"Flowers have meanings. Yellow roses for friendship, Jasmine for grace, that sort of thing. I specialize in bouquets with messages, symbolism."

That rang a bell. Ken recalled a book of codes he'd had as a child – one of Sam's old ones. Something like that had been mentioned in one of the chapters, a Flower Language used in Europe. He'd skipped over that section, whenever he'd read the book, it had seemed boring.

"Protection, I guess," he said after a moment. Something that means I ... I'm sorry." Ken swallowed against the word that lodged like a stone in his throat. "And health, or a- a wish for health, or something like that."

Toshiko nodded, a far away look in her bird-bright eyes. "Yes…Is purple alright?"

Ken blinked. _Flowers can mean all that?_ "I guess, I mean, that's fine."

She smiled and began to gather flowers from vases stuffed with them behind cooler doors. All were shades of purple. "Do you want them in a vase? They'll live longer that way."

Ken nodded, fingering his wallet. He'd made quite a bit of money in various competitions. He knew flowers cost money- more than you'd think flowers should cost- but he would have no problem. Such were the perks of genius- it had been easy to convince his parents to give him access to his own bank account three years ago.

He picked a round vase in a blue glass that brought out the blues in the purple flowers. Toshiko began arranging the flowers in it, speaking as she did.

"This is wisteria. It stands for endurance and long life. This one is heather, and it symbolizes protection." Her thin fingers touched the petals on the last time of flower she'd picked. "This one is hyacinth. It means sincerity and asks for forgiveness. Is this acceptable, or would you like something else?"

Though Ken wasn't sure of that last one- how could anyone forgive him? - he nodded. "They're perfect."

Toshiko did not seem to notice his hesitation, or else she ignored it. She took a fancy, thick halfsheet of parchment from a basket on the counter. "Would you like a card explaining the meanings?"

Ken shook his head violently. _They might suspect it's me, if they see about the hyacinth. _He meant to keep this visit secret. If the digidestined knew, they might think he's come to gloat, or had meant harm. With the 'Forgive me' they might blame him for the attack on Matt, on Izzy and Tennis Girl. No. They could not know. That was why he'd waited until they had all gone to the digital world. He'd seen them in his feeds and left for the flower shop.

Toshiko put away the paper and set down the pen. "Not many people know the meanings of flowers- the significance…"

"It's ok. It's enough that I know." Ken swallowed again.

She nodded. "Very well." She said. "Come over to the register." Ken picked up the vase of flowers, letting the perfume wash over him as he followed her.

Ken thanked the red-haired – receptionist? Doctor? – at the from desk and made his way up to room 413. The off-white door was ajar, looking into an off-white room. A blonde woman sat in one chair, typing one-handed on a laptop. Her other hand held that of the boy lying on the hospital bed, his eyes shut, an IV in his other arm and wires connected to beeping machines around him.

Ken knocked on the door frame.

The woman- she must have been Matt's mother- looked up. She had very clearly not slept, dark circles underscored blue eyes, which were rimmed in red as though she'd been weeping.

_Of course she's been crying,_ Ken chided himself, feeling almost guilty for noticing.

"Hello, Ma'am[AM1] ." he suddenly felt very, very awkward and wanted to run. Instead he held forth the flowers.

She smiled weakly at him, though she did not stand. "Hello. Are you one of Matt's school friends? Or bandmates?"

Ken shook his head. Again, he could not speak that lie of all lies. "I know him. A little. Not well. We don't have classes together." That wasn't a lie, since they didn't go to the same _school_. "But I heard, and I, well…" He said haltingly.

She nodded. "Come in, please. There's another chair. The doctors say that talking to him may help, and just talking around him."

Ken entered a put the vase on the small bedside table, next to a familiar device. A pale blue digivice, like his had been, once. Before. _Uncorrupted _Ken thought as he took the chair offered, fingers brushing a jacket he recognized as the uniform that Kami- no, Tai- wore.

There was a moment of silence before Matt's mother stood. "Will you stay with him for a moment? I'll be back in a minute."

Ken nodded, unsure if she was only saying that to give him a moment alone, or because she actually needed to go somewhere.

"Hello." He said when she had gone. "If you can hear me, I mean. I...I'm sorry. I never got to tell you that. That I'm sorry. For everything. For all of it. What I did. I thought- but that doesn't matter. It only matters that I did terrible things. I know it doesn't help, my saying I'm sorry, but it's what people say when they've hurt others, so…I'm saying it. I hope you wake up. Soon. And that your friends are able to defeat that woman and the gears and all of it. I can't, not alone, but I'm trying. I'm trying." He felt his eyes fill with tears. "I know it won't make up for what I've done. What I almost did. To him. I never meant- but it almost happened. He's lucky. Not just for…for being ok. After, I mean. But to have you. I had an older brother." He had never said those words to anyone, "I had an older brother." Sometimes he pretended it was a bad dream, a nightmare thing, so that it wouldn't hurt. He'd never told anyone about Sam, not that he'd ever had anyone to tell.

"He died. A long time ago. He… he never would have done-"_Done what? Tried to kill someone who tried to kill his little brother? But he… _"Anyway. I don't know you. I never will. But I wanted to tell you, that I hope you wake up. And that I'm sorry."

He stopped talking as the blonde woman returned, this time with a doctor who checked the machines and left again.

Ken remembered being in a hospital room. The car had hit Sam, but he had been hurt, too. Bumps and bruises. A broken wrist from hitting the pavement after his brother's shove. He remembered sitting still, not swinging his legs because they hurt, at a bedside. Then later, at a coffin side. His mother sobbing, dark circles underscoring her red rimmed eyes. He felt the memories surging up in him and repressed the urge to vomit and the painful tightening and roiling in his stomach. He looked down, unable to look at Matt or the sleeping cream and orange digimon peeking out from under the sheets.

He had not caused _this_ pain for this family, he knew. But weeks ago this woman had sat at another bedside, likely in this same hospital, maybe this very room with the window overlooking the street, not the park, and she'd sat there having almost lost a child. It had only been a miracle, the miracle of the little enamel necklace that had broken through darkness to bring an angel, that it _had_ been a bedside, and not a grave. And that was his fault. That pain was on his heart. His tears spilled down his cheeks as he remembered his own mother's pain. He'd caused that pain, hadn't he, playing in the street. Wishing Sam would go away?_ It was because of me that he died. It was because of me that T.K. almost died. I caused so much pain. I've caused this family so much pain, caused the Digital world, caused my family- so much pain._

He swiped a hand across his face, brushing away wet, and said quietly, "I should go."

Before he stood, he slipped the chain and pendant he'd been carrying, The Necklace, Kari's Necklace, into the pocket of the green jacket draped behind him. Tai would give it to his sister. It would be just one more miracle. One more act of the Angel.

The mother sent another wavering smile at him. "Thank you for coming." She took a deep breath, released it. "Come back any time. It can be too quiet here. Lonely."

Ken did not say, 'I do not belong,' could not say, 'I cannot come back,' so he only shrugged. She stood, releasing her son's hand. She seemed to understand his hesitation.

"Really, - oh. What did you say your name was?"

Ken did not hesitate, the name sprang into his mind. One that those he had wronged would never connect to him. "Sam," he said softly.

"Thank you, Sam. The flowers are lovely."

He turned to the door and left, his heart still heavy.

What if Matt died? If that happened the other boy- T.K. would lose a brother. He'd been through so much pain, much of it because of Ken. One more wound, a wound Ken knew too well.

_I can't undo what I've done. I can't make up for the pain I've caused this family. But maybe I can prevent more._

In the hospital, the hyacinths, as the setting sun lit upon them through the single window, seemed almost to glow, a pale pinkish-purple. But it was a soft light, and came and went unnoticed.

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**So…*rocks on heels expectantly* what do you think? Worth the wait? I hope so. Again, I kinda sorta totally cried writing this. I wish I could hug Ken and tell him it would be ok. Poor duckling. Also pretty sure it's not Canon, that Ken was playing in the street and Sam shoved him out of the way of the car but I don't care. I liked the idea, and it gives Ken even more a guilt complex so that's a good thing for this story ok, so just go with it? :) **

**Anyway. I'll try to be better about the waits between chapters. This one's very close to done, sad to say, I think there's just one more chapter. But check my profile, there is still plenty of History Repeats stuff to come!**

~HNA


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